Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
