I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
