yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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