I love black thongs
i just had sex bonerless
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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