if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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