mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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