I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
