I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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