Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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