I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
