I hope mine doesn't look like that
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
