That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
