its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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