im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
