do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
