you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
