I'm lost and stupid without you.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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