How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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