Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
