I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
