at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
