How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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