Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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