My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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