I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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