At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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