Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
