man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
