we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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