I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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