home. puking in laundry basket.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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