Im at strip club and am horny
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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