I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
