Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
