I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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