if you like me you must not know who I am
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
