also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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