well I can't set my house on fire every night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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