Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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