lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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