Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize