I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
