The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
