How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You pole danced in your parka.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I could fuck to npr.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
