My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
