I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
