i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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