remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
