My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
