I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
